dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
whose parrot is this?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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