Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
