i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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