You really coming over, don't trick.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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