16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
