i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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