Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize