you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
