Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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