Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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