She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize