Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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