I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
