you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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