That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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