So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
honey bunches of taint.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
