if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
