I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
