im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i dont even know how to be here
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
