Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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