I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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