I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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