Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
