We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are we still banned from the library?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
