So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
