I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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