in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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