I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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