I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
