She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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