Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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