Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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