...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
