I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize