Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i need to put some appletini on your dick
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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