I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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