And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
