i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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