I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the day after is always just damage control
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
