I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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