SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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