i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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