Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
