I skipped work to stalk him.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
