we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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