I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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