Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
