I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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