If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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