Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
