whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the night ended with taco bell and tears
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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