Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
