If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
only if we run a train.
done.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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