He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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