see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
