Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
