You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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