Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
