Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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