i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
