If that was your dad, he is hot
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My bed smells like the plague
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
