this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am naked and annoyed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
