I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
