My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
