So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize