So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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